Monday, March 31, 2008

The Future

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Five ways to go:

  1. A caviling rant against "the scattered babblings" of drunken narcissists (a la Charles Bukowski wannabes: Yells, drunken slurred speech, Yells, Yells, drunken slurred speech, hush, hush, George Bush sucks, Yells, Yells, more drunken slurred speech...The End!)
  2. A play-by-play commentary on WWE Monday Night Raw which my kids are watching with my wife right now (I think Rick Flar just retired...wow he's flabby!)
  3. An essay on dismissiveness and the dangers of online dating services for dogs (MLA or APA???)
  4. Engrandizing self-promotion and the endless search for self-fulfillment via knitting clubs("I just donated a scarf to the homeless shelter...my good deed for 2008 is done...now I must put a picture of 'homeless Bob' on the refrigerator wearing the scarf I made...here, I'll use my poetry magnets...perfect!")
  5. Or none of the above.

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Rejections to date: 738. Today it was Southern California Review. I love rejections as much as I love Oreos and I just went through a package of Double Stuff Oreos with my wife in less than 48 hours: purchased at 7:16 pm on Saturday night.

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I finished Scientific American Reports' special edition on robots during lunch today. In the future I will control things with my mind via tiny microchips implanted in my brain. Seamlessly flip through channels on the television , control my robot vacuum cleaner, turn off the lights, turn on the microwave and warm up a bowl of Tomato soup, or perhaps even toast some Pop Tarts. Commanding robots by thought will be fun!

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Coming Attractions: thoughts on Pleiades, comments on Bredle's Standing In Line For the Beast, the side effects of Chantix, and what I keep in my top dresser drawer (which one: left, right, left, right). Fuck it, I'll stick to the first two.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Uneventful Weekend


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Very, very uneventful weekend:
watched Spongebob Square Pants with the kids, did laundry, played with cars and moon sand (I hate moon sand: it shows up everywhere), watched a little more Spongebob Square Pants, the boys played Lord of the Rings video game on Xbox, cleaned the kitchen and dog poop in the backyard, played baseball with the boys in the poop free yard (after buying whiffle balls, a new Easton Little League bat, and a glove for Gavin), beat my son twice in FIFA Soccer 2006 (I should have let him win...but I just couldn't), played UNO a lot, and much, much more. At night I drank Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch (not the best whisky but it did the trick) and watched either Lost or Battlestar.

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I also finished Redivider (5.1). My favorites:

"Pathogenesis," Dan Pribble
"La Maison du Fada," Rebecca Hall
"Poor Yorick," Adrianna Ranta
both of Sue Standing's poems: "Deseret" and "Under the Sign Of"

I was also able to add one more book to my Book List. Sue Standing was published by Four Way Books back in 2003: False Horizon. Again, this is a little obsessive but I collect books based on publisher because I would rather have, for example, 10 Four Way Books books on my shelf so that I have a better feel for Four Way Books. Four Way Books happens to be on my "collect from this press list" and I have 12 titles in my office.

I don't like plithera of different individual titles from different presses spattered across my shelves. This is good because I believe I can gain a greater appreciation for individual presses but it can also be a bad thing because I procrastinate picking up individual titles with presses I'm not collecting currently. Which is why I break the rules from time to time or if I really want a specific book, like Michael Dumanis' My Soviet Union or James Allen Hall's Now You're Enemy I break down and buy 3-5 titles from U Mass Press or Univ of Arkansas Press. So, if anybody has any suggestions for poetry from U Mass Press or Univ of Arkansas Press I'm all ears. I have a small working list of authors but I'm not familiar with many of the poets published by both presses.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

3

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I accomplished my goal yesterday of submitting my poetry manuscript to 3 presses and/or contests in March. I have the same goal in April: it's time to develop thick skin with the manuscript. I've been rejected 737 times by journals so I've built up pretty thick with literary journals. But presses that publish chapbooks and book-length manuscripts is another beast. My manuscript took my 5 years to finish. I officially finished it in early March. I already hate it and loathe everything about it, which I hope is normal. But I now feel free to pursue new ideas, etc.

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I'm loving David Roderick's Blue Colonial: both wonderfully crafted and elegant.

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I hope to post "The Fat (Book Review #2 & 3)" in the next two weeks. The books: Jason Bredle's Standing In Line For The Beast and Kevin Prufer's National Anthem. It's not NewPages but I enjoy writing about other people's work.

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On deck tonight: New Belgium 1554 Brussels Style Black Ale and more Battlestar.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Lack

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My writing life over the past week can be described with one word: lack. I went from writing everyday this month to not writing for a full week: very disappointing.

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I just finished Standing In Line For The Beast and have moved onto:

Jon Anderson, Day Moon (Carnegie Mellon)
David Roderick, Blue Colonial (APR/Honickman First Book Prize 2006, Copper Canyon Press)

They're both from a few years back but I've been looking forward to reading them for some time and those of you who know me know that I collect books by press. I'll buy 7-10 books at a time from a specific press as opposed to buying randomly or by author or new release. I like to support presses and get a feel for the larger body of work they're producing as opposed to single poets/authors here and there. It's a little obsessive as well...or uptight...take your pick. Plus I like uniformity on my bookshelf...which is pathetic.

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Battlestar was awesome last night. As was Lost's "Confidence Man." On to disc 3 from season 1 of Lost.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Weakness

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I gave in to weakness today: I purchased Battlestar Galactic season 3. There was a delay with Netflix, Megan forgot to send back our movies 3 days in a row, and my brother-in-law and sister have disc 1. Obviously a recipe for jealousy and envy. I couldn't wait...I'm pathetic. And what's worse? I also bought Family Guy seasons 1 & 2 because they were on sale for $19.99. I thought it was a steal for 28 episodes. I was a sucker more like it; a perfect example of an impulse buyer. But you know what...I'm going to enjoy my weekend: Battlestar Galactica, Family Guy, Guinness, and a little Belgian ale to boot!!!

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I got a poem accepted by The MeadoW today: one of the most professional journals I've dealt with thus far...and I've dealt with a lot.

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Rejections to date: 737.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Lost

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I received contributors copies for both Out of Line and Buffalo Carp. Out of Line is a wonderful journal dedicated to social and political issues (i.e., social harmony and justice). Buffalo Carp is based out of the Quad Cities (i.e., Davenport and Bettendorf, IA, and Moline, Rock Island, and East Moline, IL). Dorothy Lasky appears in Buffalo Carp. I have Awe, her book from Wave Books, and am looking forward to reading it very soon. Both journals look great and I can't wait to dig in.

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I am officially hooked on Lost. I've put off watching Lost because I was a fan of Alias and J.J. Abrams' eventual proverbial "dropping of the ball" with that show made me hesitant about jumping into Lost. But all it took was the pilot episodes and I was hooked. So now Battlestar is competing with Lost in my Netflix que...oh the drama!

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Leprechauns

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Last night Megan and I turned all of the furniture upside down and hung backpacks and book bags from the ceiling and spattered green things all over the living room: drums, bean bag frogs, pencils and pens, Starburst, Skittles, papier-mache, etc. We posted signs on the walls with "The Leprechauns were here!!!" scrawled in green magic marker. Our dog, Hawkeye freaked out. Our youngest son Brayden stood and stared. It didn't phase Gavin. He asked if he gets presents for St. Patrick's Day. Elijah was annoyed that he had to help turn the furniture back over. This didn't go over so well.

The other day, after the kids were freaked out by my Coyote story, Megan sent the kids outside to play. They hesitantly acquiesced...now slightly frightened by the beast in the woods. Megan proceeded to howl out the open window from behind the curtains. Our boys didn't know it was her. They made a mad dash for the porch and never looked back. Megan insisted it was a coyote or a werewolf and even showed them a mark on her neck that she swore might be a werewolf bite, which was actually just a zit. They believed her until she told them she was just kidding. They laughed but haven't been back to the backyard for over a week.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

No Coffee #2

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Megan, Paul, and I watched three episodes from Battlestar Galactica 2.5 last night. I’m trying to refresh myself before jumping in to season three. We watched “Pegasus: Extended Version,” “Resurrection Ship (Part 1),” and “Resurrection Ship (Part 2).” It was awesome and also contributed to a late start this morning.

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We were out of coffee this morning which is bad news especially after drinking beer and single malt Scotch whisky last night. I am addicted to caffeine and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I got some coffee for Megan and me but it took a little longer than usual to feel normal this morning. Now I’m going to Target to do our monthly personal care/household shopping: toilet paper, tin foil, light bulbs, etc. Megan made the list and I’m doing the shopping. She’s doing the grocery shopping later this afternoon. We try to keep Sundays free of any running around, errands, work, etc.; as a result shopping, hair cuts, house work, chores, errands, etc. are done on Saturdays.


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All of a sudden this afternoon, I started feeling sick: upset stomach, etc. Maybe it was something I ate…Large Starbucks coffee, two Cadbury mini creme eggs, honey ham sandwich with mustard and mayonnaise, garden salsa Sun chips, Pepsi, Skittles, and three glasses of ice water…I don’t really see what the big deal is…there’s nothing wrong with the aforementioned food…


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What I’ve been reading and listening to on my day off:

1421, Gavin Menzies
American Spikenard, Sarah Vap
Cold War Kids’ phenomenal album Robbers & Cowards

Friday, March 14, 2008

Worms

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My youngest son, who's two, tried to eat a worm today. My oldest son, who's nine, found a grub. I told him it might be a screw worm and explained to him that screw worms get into animals via the nose, ear, or buttocks and eat them from the inside out until the animal dies. He dropped it and then looked at me with a grin and said, "No, it isn't!" and put it back in a Tupperware container full of mud, twigs, and leaves. I know...I'm an ass! My wife went to get a Culver's concrete Butterfingers mixer for herself and a Strawberry malt for me...she's very nice. After the malt comes single malt scotch whisky and a review of Battlestar Galactica Season 2.5.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

734

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Two weeks ago I sent out my poetry manuscript for the first time. A day later I already wanted to change the name and layout of the manuscript. Those who know me well are aware that I’ve obsessed over this manuscript for nearly five years. So my desire to change the title and layout will come as no surprise. I wish I could just let it go but I can’t: I'm constantly mulling over the poems, layout, order, quotes, epigraphs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, in the coming days I’m going to tinker with a handful of alternative titles. I already have the alternative layout ready (i.e., five sections instead of three—I like breathing room). I want to narrow down the possible titles so that I can submit the manuscript out to a few more contests and/or publishers. My goal is to send it out to three in March and three in April. I have sent it out to two contests thus far so I need one more submission to achieve my March objective. One thing I’ll say, on a side note and anybody who has sent out their manuscript can attest to this: it can get expensive quick.


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Things continue to get worse for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and thus the mortgage industry. According to Tami Luhby, a CNNMoney staff writer, “Investors are now shunning mortgage-backed securities issued by government sponsored enterprises Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which have been critical in keeping the real estate market from completely falling apart.” This is another reason why FHA may be the only viable option for some prospective and existing homeowners.


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Rejections to date: 734 (I miscalculated the other day)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Very Delicious

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I work in banking and it looks like banks are headed towards 60’s and 70’s style lending, which is to say, if you don’t have a 720 credit score or greater than you either need 20% down, or your going to pay a lot in up front fees for the rate you get, or you need to go FHA. The banks are having difficulties securing funds by using mortgage backed securities as collateral and their losing a lot of money from bad subprime loans and ALT loans that were originated during the hay day and weren’t backed by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac so if you don’t have stellar credit than FHA is the only safe bet for the time being. Fun times ahead. Fun times ahead. Needless to say, business is slow and frustrating.


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I went to Barnes & Nobles for lunch and had some Chicken and Wild Rice soup: very delicious. And when I finished read about half of Jason Bredle’s Standing In Line For The Beast: also very delicious.

No Coffee

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Our coffee maker didn't work this morning, which means my whole writing routine was thrown off and also means I impulsively went to Starbucks to get Megan and I some coffee. Normally if we get coffee, we get it from either Broadway Coffee or The Roasterie, which are two locally owned and operated coffee shops. But drastic times call for drastic measures. And when I say coffee, I mean coffee not a double caramel cappuccino with skim milk and whip cream on top...but a real house coffee. I'm not sure why people say, "I'm going to get a coffee" and return with a foo-foo drink...not that I'm a coffee snob...but I'm just saying...it's time for work.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Carnivore in the Woods

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What I’ve been listening to recently while I write in the mornings: Beirut’s The Flying Club Cup. Beirut is great music to wake up to while sipping a cup of crappy coffee.


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I need to check out Get Him Eat Him.


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I think we have a coyote or another carnivore in the woods behind our house. We live in what would be classified as an urban part of Kansas City but there’s a small wooded area behind our house. Last night, per my evening routine, I let the dog out and sat on porch with a glass of Aberlour single malt Scotch whisky.

Our Boston terrier, Hawkeye (named in honor of the Iowa Hawkeye’s and our beloved Hawkeye state), flipped out: he ran to the back fence and an animal ran back and forth on the other side of the fence. So, of course he chased it but it was about 2 times the size of Hawkeye. I got him inside as quickly as possible because he’s mentally challenged and wouldn’t stand a chance against a larger animal.

Once he was inside I heard an eruption of cat-like screeches, hisses, grunting, clawing, and crying emanating from the woods. It sounded like an “all-out-alley-cat-war” but far more brutal. It went on for approximately a minute or so before the crying sound got louder and louder. It sounded like a wounded animal. Then there was another round of screeches, hisses, grunting, and crying followed by silence. Two or three minutes passed before the silence was broken by the sound of an animal chewing, chomping, biting, etc. It sounded like it was gnawing on bone and tearing flesh. It was like Animal Planet in my backyard. Megan said I should go check it out. I didn’t because I’m a coward. She said she’s adventurous and brave, and I’m a wimp. I drank more whisky.


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I work in a bank building next door to a Planned Parenthood: the same Planned Parenthood that has monthly visits from the local media because of Johnson County District Attorney (a rabid-right-to-lifer) Phill Kline’s attempt to bring charges of illegal late term abortions, among other charges, against the Overland Park Planned Parenthood. The sidewalks in front of the Planned Parenthood are frequently filled by local church groups, Christians, etc. They pray…mostly. And a few wear red tap Xed across their mouth as a symbol of protest. I can only imagine it represents to voiceless aborted and perhaps the red stands for innocent blood…I’m really not sure.


I consider myself a Christian. I attend church almost every Sunday. I was raised in an Evangelical Charismatic church. I even worked full time as a youth pastor for 5 years from age 21-26. So, I understand “why” they are praying and protesting. What I don’t understand is how they can reconcile their actions with Jesus’ instructions on how Christians ought to pray in Matthew 6:5-8, which states: "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

I realize there’s context involved in any exegesis of a biblical text. But there are biblical principles that can be ascertained as an explanation for how Christians or follower’s of Jesus should behave morally, ethically, religiously, etc.

I don’t mean to imply that they don’t have the right to stand against abortion because it is their right to speak freely. But when one reflects on Matthew 6:5-8 and then watches their very public prayer that quite literally takes place on a street corner I can’t help but wonder how they can their public prayer with Jesus’ admonishment to prayer in secret to avoid showy expressions of “charity” and “prayer.”


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William D. Waltz’s Zoo Music from Slope Editions came in the mail today. I’m going to read it as soon as I’m finished with Jason Bredle’s Standing In Line For the Beast and Sarah Vap’s American Spikenard.


Monday, March 10, 2008

Downloads, Season 3

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Downloads from the weekend:

The National, Boxer
Sufjan Stevens, Greetings from Michigan: The Great Lake State
Neutral Milk Hotel, The Aeroplane, Over the Sea
Neutral Milk Hotel, On Avery Island

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Eight days until Battlestar Galactica Season 3 is released on DVD. I moved Season 2.5 to the top of my Netflix que so that I can get refreshed before watching Season 3. It has been over a 9 months since I finished Season 2.5, and unfortunately, I didn’t have cable when Season 3 aired. But the wait is almost over and I can’t wait.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Bourbon Stout

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Megan and I went to the 75th Street Brewery last night. I had country fried steak with garlic mashed potatoes and garlic green beans: it was superb; although the country fried steak was more “fried” than “steak.” Megan had fish and chips, which she also said was wonderful. I had two pints of American ale and a small glass of imperial bourbon stout which was one of the best, if not the best, stout I’ve ever had. It was smooth with a little hint of bourbon. I drank it a little fast though which contributed to an upset stomach later.

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I am currently reading or have just finished the following books and journals:

American Spikenard, Sarah Vap
The Green Girls, John Blair
Becoming the Villainess, Jeanine Hall Gailey
Fa(r)ther Down: Songs from the Allergy Trials, Arielle Greenberg
Practice: New Writing + Art
Greatcoat

I highly recommend Practice and Greatcoat. Check them out: they're both new(er).

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I also had the pleasure of hearing Natasha Tretheway read for the Midwest Poets Series at Rockhurst University this past Thursday. She was very, very friendly after the reading. I very rarely purchase books at readings and even more rarely get them signed. But I picked up Native Guard (paper back of course) and had her sign it. Great reading with a pretty hefty turnout. The only sour note(s): with the flu going around KC there was a constant cacophony of coughs, and of course, a woman sitting behind me forgot to turn her cell phone off so it chirped a few times during the reading.

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Rejections to date: 721. Is that a lot? I think it's hot!