Monday, December 1, 2008

Thanksgiving Highlights

I went to Marshalltown this weekend for Thanksgiving. The highlights were:

  • 103.3 was playing the same bands they were playing 10-15 years ago: Stone Temple Pilots, Live, Quiet Riot, etc., etc. It's odd how in Iowa things stay the same. They don't of course...things in Iowa change...just much slower...it's as close to static as you're going to get.
  • My in-law's new coffee maker...awesome!
  • The wood burning stove in my parents' basement: very cozy.
  • Younkers and the great new Fiestaware set Megan and I bought on sale: off-white.
  • Zeno's pizza.
  • Snow.
Not a very interesting post but a post nonetheless. Until next time...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

For You Tonight

Tonight all I have are bits:

Megan, the kids, and I watched Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. My son Gavin kept asking when somebody was going to get their eyes torn out by a bird. The Birds is pretty cool.

My Christmas wish: starting the day after Thanksgiving I want to watch a Christmas-themed movie every night leading up to Christmas. That ought to be fun!!! Home for the Holidays, Elf, Its a Wonderful Life, etc., etc. Any suggestions on Christmas movies? I need to fill up my Netflix que now so that I'm prepared.

"Your hair was long when we first met..." My sons both got their hair cuts this weekend. They both have fairly long hair. Elijah's hair is below his shoulders. Gavin's is shoulder length. Megan brought it up above their shoulders. Our kids are totally going to be skater punks. A few years ago we were at Loose Park in Kansas City. Elijah was 5. He was playing in a huge sand box with other kids. Some kid told him his favorite music was The Wiggles and asked Elijah "What's your favorite music." He nonchalantly says Bad Religion and keeps digging in the sand.

I like Beirut.

That's it...that's all I got.

But I've been using partial song lyrics for my blog post titles. So, here's some breadcrumbs that will help you name the artist for my Song-Lyric Title: this band's singer is, besides being super famous, also featured in The Pixies documentary Pixies. This one's pretty easy.

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On Deck: Aesthetics #2...Oh yeah, I'm not finished yet and this time we're going to talk about Ted Kooser.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Aesthetics

I’ve been reading Bernard Bosanquet’s translation of Hegel’s Introductory Lectures on Aesthetics recently. I read it back in 2002 but decided to revisit it and a few things have struck me so far. Hegel asserts that there are “two opposite ways of treating” the subject of aesthetics. I may be misreading Hegel but aesthetics appears to refer to “a knowledge of the essence of fine art” (17) or a philosophy of art or the science of what is beautiful (which does not include nature). Art includes painting, sculpting, music, poetry, etc. So I’m going to discuss Hegel’s Introductory Lectures on Aesthetics from a poetic perspective.

First, there is the development of theories that “govern both criticism and artistic production” (18, italics mine). These theories rely upon an extensive familiarity with classic and contemporary poetry, a vast knowledge of history, a vivid imagination to recall the varied forms, movements, etc. within classic and contemporary poetry. These theories lead to judgments which form tastes or personal preference. Hegel states that “it remains invariably the case that every man judges works of art…according to the measure of his insight and his feelings” (19). To put it another way, we develop theories based on our knowledge and our tastes, which informs our criticism of poetry and poetic production or what elements we believe should be part of the production of beautiful poetry. Perhaps it’s kind of like having a wealth of knowledge about Chili and arriving at what one believes to be the perfect recipe for Chili.

The second way of treating the subject of aesthetics is a general treatment of poetry that doesn’t touch on the particulars of poetry (language, craft, form, etc.) but is a more of an abstract philosophy of what is beautiful. This second means of treating aesthetics should transcend personal preference, taste, etc.

This leads me to something, or actually two specific things, that have pissed me off in the past few years. First, there was Billy Collins’ introduction to Best American Poetry 2006 as well as his comments at the Best American Poetry event at the New School in September 2006 which included comments that pitted his so-called “school of clarity” against the “school of difficulty” or “water” against “mud.”

Secondly, there was Charles Wright’s introduction to the Best American Poetry 2008 in which Wright states: “I like things to make sense nowadays. Putting aside the nagging possibility that one man’s sense is another man’s sensibility, as the years wind down, I like a definitiveness in things, I want to understand them, even though I know there is precious little sense in earthly affairs (or unearthly ones, for that matter), and God knows not an unlit wick of understanding. Art is supposed, they say, to make sense out of the senseless, coherence out of the incoherent, and connections out of the unconnectible.” He goes onto to comment on the health of contemporary poetry: not a lot of bad poems, but not a lot of good ones (you can see more about this conversation on John Gallaher’s blog).

I was incensed at Billy Collins’ remarks. I was disappointed with Charles Wright’s comments. But after re-reading Hegel I started thinking that their comments are indicative of the theories they’ve developed regarding criticism and artistic production which have led to judgments about what should be in a poem or to use my chili metaphor what ingredients make the best possible chili. Their comments are not reflective of an abstract philosophy of what is beautiful. Their comments are reflective of personal taste…not truth.

Of course there’s going to be conflict between differing theories and Hegel admits as much by suggesting disputes will arise as to which theory is the essential theory. The error occurs when one confuses a practical theory of criticism and artistic production for an abstract philosophy of what is beautiful or vice versa which I think Wright does by articulating that "art is supposed, they say, to make sense out of the senseless..." which seems more like a function of art but the definitiveness of his comment seems to imply something much larger the function or a theory of criticism or artistic production. In addition, I think it’s egregious to believe there is one essential theory…after all haven’t Collins or Wright been to a chili cook off. I don’t like spicy chili but that doesn’t make spicy chili bad chili. Hell, I know people that like Hormel chili just fine. So, I don't know what I'm concluding other then the fact that perhaps anthologies suck unless they're truly like a good old fashioned chili cook off.

Weekend Update

Megan and I went to Metallica at the Spring Center. It was awesome. I'm not a big Metallica fan but it was one of my favorite concerts. They played a lot of older stuff. They made an effort to appeal to both the black album and post black album fans as well as appealing to their hard core fan base: those like my wife who has Kill 'Em All, Ride the Lightning, Master of Puppets, and ...And Justice for All but not Metallica or anything thereafter.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

This is The End of Everything

Goodbye cable. Goodbye E-Music. Goodbye...

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Tonight I went to see Charles Simic read at the Midwest Poets Series at Rockhurst University. There was a guy next to me playing Who Wants To Be A Millionaire or something like it on his cell phone. There was a little round hairy fella behind me with a sack full of Charles Simic books who would read poems to himself and chuckle incessantly...not on cue I might add. And of course there was the individual who sat down behind me half way through the reading who smelled like sour milk and Mad Dog.

But besides the interesting people I felt like I should have been sitting on a big bear rug listening to Charles Simic tell stories: he sitting cross legged, sipping single malt, smoking a cigarette in front of a roaring fire; me sitting...listening, listening, listening. He had a very dry sense of humor. He was soft spoken. His poetry was dark and yet the imagery was often (not always) very original and disarming. But he was so soft spoken, or perhaps it was poor acoustics mixed with a small voice, made it difficult to focus and hear the poems. So, unfortunately I often found myself shifting in my seat in an attempt to retain some semblance of focus because when I did I was pleasantly surprised.


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A few days ago when Megan and the kids let the dog out they discovered that both the front and back gates were open. Neither Megan nor the kids nor I left the gate open. The only possible reason for the open gate is that someone cut through our backyard between 11:30 pm and 6:00 am. That's a little disconcerting because we have a wooded area beyond our fence. Elijah conjectured that Hawkeye (our Boston Terrier) was not smart enough to open the gates. Gavin added that a "bunny" is too small to open the gates. I told them the only animal capable of opening the gates would be a werewolf. My son Elijah refused to close the gates. I'm a cruel father. My wife played into it later by suggesting she saw a werewolf in the woods. But then we both defused a possibly disastrous onslaught of fear by telling the kids there are no werewolf's and that we were only kidding.

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Farkle scoreboard:
  • Gavin = 15
  • Elijah = 13
  • Me = 11
  • Megan = 10
Gavin is creating quite a lead. He's a dominating Farkle player.

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Bread crumbs for the song lyric title (or name that song or artist): he guest appeared as uncle Bob in the movie I watched tonight: That Thing You Do.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Last Night He Could Not Make It

he tried hard but he could not make it...so tonight he will (this last part is mine).

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I finished David Kirby's The Temple Gate Called Beautiful last night. This was my first Kirby book. Kirby's poetry is "talky" and is similar to Albert Golbarth. I'm not really sure what to do with some "talky" poetry and in Kirby's case I enjoyed a few poems, including the title poem, but found myself getting completely lost in the 3-5, 5-7 page poems that were littered with one literary or artistic or historical reference after another. I often felt like I do when I watch Go Diego, Go with my son Brayden...1/3 paying attention, 1/3 amused, and 1/3 nodding off. Now, I know this isn't entirely fair to Mr. Kirby which is why I've ordered 3 more of his books to get a broader perspective because there were moments I laughed and had fun reading his poems so I'm trying to be pragmatic about it. Perhaps it's Kirby's barrage of artistic/literary references and a landscape that feels entirely irrelevant, and quite frankly, academic, that makes it more difficult to engage.

I have to add that I'm not adverse to "talky" poetry. I feel that Paul Guest, Bob Hicock, and Jason Bredle (these are just a few examples from what I've read in the past 12-18 months) work in "talky" modes but with very different typographies. And in the case of Jason Bredle, I often find myself euphoric, happy, etc. after I read one of his poems. I feel like I'm taking a cross country trip but taking state highways, especially the two lane highways in CO (a little treacherous but very scenic) instead of the interstates, and as a result, I witness a lot of the nuisances of the human experience that I would never noticed if I had just hoped on I-35 and headed north to Des Moines (you know, point to A to point B, point B to point C). BJ has a great description, which is probably more apt, of the often rewarding journey Bredle's poetry takes the reader on.

Thus, I would rate (on the Netflix rating scale of course) David Kirby's The Temple Gate Called Beautiful as a 2 1/2 stars out of 5, which is somewhere between "I don't like it" and "I like it." Ultimately, I may need to read the book again.

I always feel awkward and guilty being semi-critical of a poet. Should I???

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Farkle scoreboard:
  • Gavin = 14
  • Elijah = 13
  • Me = 11
  • Megan = 9
Yes, I have moved into 3rd place.

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Bread crumbs for the song lyric: the birth place of Demi Moore. Now you can try to guess the song lyric.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Government Supplies Her Cocaine

Bits:
  • I finished Matthea Harvey's Sad Little Breathing Machine this morning. If I was rating it on a Netflix scale I would say 3 out of 5 or "I liked it." But this is a very deceiving rating because when I finished I was left wanting more...more Matthea. Fortunately, I'm also finishing up Modern Life which, so far, is a 4 1/2 out of 5 which would be between "I really liked it" and "I loved it" on the Netflix rating system. I'll probably read both again soon because something about her poetry mystifies me.
  • I got rejected by The Journal today but it was a nice rejection with a little note from the editors, as opposed to a standard rejection slip. I only have a few outstanding submissions...and then I'm done for a while. BJ on the other hand just got a couple poems accepted. Congratulations BJ.
  • I'm forcing myself to read Ted Kooser: I've tried to read Delights and Shadows twice and failed both times. This time I will get through it. I want to be well read, even reading poets I don't necessarily like. I once read a poet's (RC) book and quite literally hated it to the extent that I threw it down on the ground. What did I do next? I bought 2 more of RC's books and read them just to give RC a fair shake. I hated the other 2 books even more than the first. But at least I read them.
  • I've started reading Paula Cisewski's Upon Arrival and Bill Rasmovicz's The World In Place of Itself.
  • I'm going to miss Hadara Bar-Nadav reading at the Writer's Place tomorrow night which makes me very sad.
  • My kids are going camping this weekend.
  • I won the "Family Farkle Game" tonight. I had a streak of winning 0 of the first 24 games we played over the past 2 months. I've caught up though:
    • Gavin = 14
    • Elijah = 12
    • Megan = 9
    • Me = 9

There's No Guaranties

I can't figure out what to do with my manuscript. I've decided to stop submitting to journals until next fall. In the meanwhile I'm going to compose new poems, revise older poems, build up a stock pile of new material, and read. But I can't mitigate the bane of my creative existence: that first manuscript.

I suppose my struggle to complete, and maybe more importantly to feel comfortable, is normal but it begs an important question: why am I so hell bent on finishing my first manuscript? First, it seems like the next logical step in my poetic progression. I've had over a hundred accepted and/or published poems; although, I haven't had a ton published by "bigger" or "top tier" journals (although those monikers seem relative). Second, I want validation, which is probably, albeit honest, an inappropriate reason. I've always struggled immensely with the idea of referring to myself as a "poet" because--although I write a lot, read a lot, and have had a few poems published--I don't feel "legitimate" since I don't have a published collection of poetry. Although my reasons for wanting a published manuscript are not tenure, resume building, fame, fortune, etc., it is, quite possibly, driven by vanity.

It might be easy to conclude that perhaps the manuscript isn't ready yet. Of course my close friends BJ and Luke might say I'm being stupid. But I think one of my greatest fears associated with finishing my first manuscript is that I'll finish it, send it out, and then not like the final product: that it will be one of hundreds of mediocre poetry manuscripts. I've always wanted my poetry to matter and I'm afraid it won't matter. I'm not worried about rejection; after being rejected 768 times by literary journals, working in sales for a bank, and having my manuscript rejected 4 times thus far I'm used to rejection. It's part of the process.

One of my other fears is including poems in my first manuscript that really belong in another manuscript. I view my poetry thus far in different time periods:
  1. 2001-fall 2005
  2. Summer 2004-present
The main difference between the two time periods are voice and form. My voice started shifting in late 2005 as I started experimenting with form but the shift initially started when I started writing a series of 12 Ghazals in the summer of 2004 in response to the arrest of a suspected (and now convicted) serial killer in Kansas City. I wrote one Ghazal for each victim. I just completed the twelfth in the series a few months ago. But the experimentation with the Ghazal as a form that usually expresses "both the pain and loss or separation and the beauty of love in spite of that pain" (according to Wikipedia) by using the Ghazal to express both loss and the affects of violence instead of love was the beginning of a shift in voice.

How does this relate to putting together my first manuscript? Well, the manuscript, until now, has included poems that were composed between 2001 and 2005 and are primarily free verse (polyphonic prose). I've been working on the manuscript since March 2003 and since there was an overlap between the two developmental periods quite a few poems from my more recent work were sneaking into the manuscript but they seemed to have a different voice. So, the question I've been asking myself is should I include poems that from both developmental periods since they seem to have different voices?

To be honest, I'd much rather be focusing most of my energy on writing then obsessing about finishing my first manuscript. I don't know...perhaps there's a few chapbooks in my earlier poems and not a manuscript.

But ultimately does it really matter? I started writing poetry because I love poetry and can't get it out of my mind...it's like a sickness. When did it become about publication? After all, I never went to a MFA program so the pressures to compete, produce, build a resume through publication and award winning, etc. has never been prescient. Oh well, love is hell!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Moth Balls

A few bits:
  • Everything smelled like moth balls today. I drove north on 69 and it smelled like moth balls; it was either the river or the rail road yards. I got some coffee at Broadway and the Oriental Rug store smelled like moth balls. I stopped by work and the parking lot smelled like moth balls...perhaps it was the fallen crab apples.
  • Megan, Gavin, Brayden, and I went to The Corner Cafe in Riverside for lunch. I ate too much.
  • Elijah's in Omaha with his friends: they're going to the Omaha Zoo tomorrow.
  • Megan and I are going to watch Iron Man tonight.
  • I have a lot of thoughts stirring around but I haven't had the time yet to postulate a written version of my thoughts.
  • I started David Kirby's The Temple Gate Called Beautiful and I like it so far. I have a list of Alice and James Books I will be purchasing very, very soon...perhaps even tonight.
  • The thoughts will come out...perhaps tomorrow night and Monday night.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Nobody Said It Was Easy

My 401k has lost 17.06% of its value. I hate looking at but have to check it occasionally. I refuse to look at my IRA as it might be worth next to nothing. Ahhh, fun times...fun times.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Victoria Chang

I went to the Victoria Chang reading tonight but before I get to the details I have to mention that the Digital and Web Manager for the KC Public Library, Kate Barsotti, tracked me down to explain the RVP thing: how did she do that?

Back to the Victoria Chang reading: it was brilliant. She read from Circles, then read from her new collection, Salvinia Molesta, before returning to Circles. I love this approach to a reading; it's the way I envision a good concert. You want to hear some of the oldies (that is the songs you're familiar with) because you may not be familiar with the newer songs. I've been to a lot of readings where the poet just assumes you're familiar with their old work and doesn't even bother reading any older poems and just launches into newer poems that most of the audience is completely unfamiliar with; I like a little bit of both. In addition, she was very unpretentious, down to earth, and interacted with the audience quite a bit: superb etiquette (if that's the right word).

Victoria Chang's poetry is, in every sense of the word, beautiful. She is economical with language. She interacts with history with a fresh and unique voice. She engages universal issues with elegance and grace. Her poetry is truly lyrical. Please pick up her book.

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On a non poetry note:

  • We had pork roast last night and my youngest son, Brayden (2 1/2), thought the brown gravy was poop, which of course, my eldest son thought was hilarious. Megan later told Elijah that Brayden is developing a schema for understanding the world and now he knows that brown and runny isn't always poop. Now, he knows brown and runny might be gravy. Of course, Elijah questioned this reasoning by asking: "How does he know a brownie's not poop or meat loaf. They're brown and clumpy."
  • I was embarrassed during the debate tonight. Governor Palin was very embarrassing. At one point, I went into my office to pay bills and shut the door so I couldn't hear her.
  • I got registered in Jackson County (I was registered in Black Hawk County in IA) and I'm definitely voting Obama...just to clarify the previous bullet point.
  • Did you hear about the earmarks connected to the Senate Bail Out Bill? Rum producers, auto racing, film and television production, and producers of wooden arrows?
  • Damage from speeding ticket from about a month ago: $105.00
  • Next readings: Hadara Bar Nadav at the Writer's Place next Friday and Charles Simic on Thursday October 23rd.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Promises

I promise I'll blog more. I promise. I didn't mention this earlier because I was too busy not blogging but Cave Wall picked up a couple of my poems a few weeks ago. Cave Wall is an awesome journal and Rhett Iseman Trull is probably the most professional editor I've encountered and is talented poet to boot. Check out Cave Wall when you get a chance...you won't regret it.

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Victoria Change is reading at the gorgeous central library in downtown KC tomorrow night. I loved Circles. The KC Library's website is strange though; their website makes it sound as if you have to RSVP to attend the reading. But I think it's information mining; they just want to snag an e-mail, an address, and phone numbers so they can send me more junk mail.

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By the way, I suck at promises. Now, I'm going to take the trash out; tomorrow is trash day in KC.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Consolation

I got a speeding ticket yesterday on the way to 810Zone in the Plaza. I guess the only consolation is that I was going to meet my brother to watch the Hawkeyes-Cyclones football game, and the Hawkeyes won.

Today I went to Broadway Cafe and Roastery to work on my poetry manuscript. Yes, an aspiring poet in a coffee shop is a cliche, as is an aspiring poet-blogger talking about a "poetry manuscript." It was, per usual, confusing. I sent the manuscript, in its first official incarnation (although, it had probably lived through at least a dozen different incarnations and/or drafts), to four contests in March. They were all rejected, which is expected and I am oddly not at all disappointed because a few days after sending out the batch for Round 1 I hated the structure, organization, etc. of the manuscript. I was comfortable with the majority of the poems; just not the structure. I am now revising it to resend out: Round 2!!! I expect this to be a very long bout.

By the way, if you like coffee and are ever in KC definitely go to Broadway. Also, if you're ever in SF definitely check out the Bluebottle Coffee Company; they are both exquisite roasteries.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Jesus' Spicy Side

I really pretty much suck at blogging but I'm going to keep trucking because it can be fun. That said, my son, Gavin, engaged Megan and I in a conversation about good and evil yesterday. He had questions and theories about the devil (i.e., Satan, the dark one, the fallen angel, etc., etc.). Then our oldest son, Elijah, chimed in and told us that the devil is Jesus' spicy side...of course jokingly. Whether his comment was theologically correct or not doesn't matter...it was brilliant and very creative. I'm sure there would be some fundamentalist evangelicals who would be aghast at his comment but Megan and I thought it was hilarious. Jesus' spicy side?!? Perhaps those of you who occasionally read this blog are thinking: spicy side??? Check Spicy Town out. Brilliant!!!

On other, semi-spicy news: I love Matthea Harvey's poetry. I'm finishing up both Sad Little Breathing Machine and Modern Life. Perhaps I'm jumping on the M. Harvey band wagon. I don't give a shit...it's fun and poetry needs to be fund and inventive and complicated and puzzling and simple and interesting and wild. I mean shit..."The Future of Terror" and "Terror of the Future" poems are brilliant. I'm also reading Leslie Adrienne Miller's The Resurrection Trade, which I like so far, and Tony Hoagland's What Narcissism Means to Me which, at least so far, is better than Donkey Gospel. Of course this is just my opinion and I'm neither admitting or denying that I'm a fan of Hoagland's work. I'm also reading We by Yevgeny Zamyatan. Quite a full plate...but to write well...one must read well. I think William Shatner once said that.

Tonight I'm watching WWE Smack Down with the boys. When they go to bed I'll be chilling and drinking some Breckenridge Brewery Autumn Ale: good stuff.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Mostly Downloads

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Downloads today:

Charles Mingus, Charles Mingus
Charlie Rouse, Takin' Care of Business
Ornette Coleman, Tomorrow is the Question
Sonny Rollins, Tenor Madness (Remastered)
Sonny Rollins, Way Out West
Sonny Rollins, Saxophone Colossus (Remastered)
Thelonious Monk and Sonny Rollins, Thelonious Monk / Sonny Rollins (Remastered)
Thelonious Monk, 5 By Monk By 5

So far my favorite is by far Charlie Rouse but Charles Mingus is right there as well. He's a great tenor saxophonist. And yes, I was in a little bit of a jazz mood this afternoon after eating Pizza Hut with the family over at Brandon and Debbie's, and talking jazz with Brandon for a little bit.

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The week in review: I was a featured reader at the Main Street Rage Poetry Showcase last Sunday which is held here, the boys had their first full week of school this week, Megan had her first full week of school as well, I had 4 more poems picked up by Epicenter on Friday, we ate at Oklahoma Joe's on Saturday which is one of the best BBQ spots in KC, and my parents stayed with us this weekend because my sister Cindy and her new baby Gabe were in town showing off.

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What I've been reading this week:

Matthea Harvey, Sad Little Breathing Machine
Matthea Harvey, Modern Life
Leslie Adrienne Miller, The Resurrection Trade

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Not exciting, but there you have it. Hopefully, I'll blog a little more often next week.


Sunday, August 17, 2008

3 Nerds and a Calculator

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Megan was listening to Pearl Jam's "Love, Reign O'er Me" or "Last Kiss" on the radio. She told me kids Eddie Vedder sounded like a goat and changed the radio station. I love Pearl Jam so her comment was blasphemous but I wasn't in the car. She turned it to a station playing Billy Idol's "White Wedding." My oldest son, Elijah, asked "What is this?" My wife joyously responded: "This is Billy Idol...he's awesome." There was silence; then Elijah added sardonically (and I'm sure he didn't know he was being sardonic) that he would rather listen to 3 nerds sing about calculators then listen to Billy Idol. Wow!!! What an amazing sense of humor!!! My middle son, Gavin, chuckled to himself and repeated "nerds...calculators" and continued chuckling to himself.

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I'm reading at The Writer's Place tonight...hopefully all goes well. I'm reading some of my new poems, which are a little lighter, and of course some of my heavier "hyper realism" poems as BJ would put it. By the way BJ, if you read this post, I've thought about the question you asked me at AWP often and I believe the answer is absolutely...I would characterize some of my poetry as "hyper realism."

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Since I haven't posted this week I need to mention that Megan and I celebrated our 11th Anniversary on Friday. We've known each other for 15 years. We went to Genghis Khan for dinner; if you're ever in Kansas City definitely check it out, especially if you're a vegetarian. Afterwards we went to Tropic Thunder at the Cinemark in the Plaza. I thought it was hilarious but also wholeheartedly agree with Megan when she said: "it was so wrong." But nonetheless, we both thoroughly enjoyed the movie. Robert Downey Jr. is very, very funny. Ben Stiller is Ben Stiller.

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Now is the semi-narcissistic portion of this post. Toot, toot!!! That's me tooting my own horn. I had two poems accepted by Pennsylvania English on Thursday. This might be just what I needed to break out of my slump.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

What a Weekend

I went to Iowa this weekend to visit my parents. We went to Taco John's: it was wonderful. We had Zeno's pizza. We watched the Olympics. But none of these were the highlight of my weekend. The highlight of my weekend came on Friday in the form of what I thought was a rejection letter. But I discovered it was more than a mere rejection letter. Although I may name the offender in a future post, I won't name the journal tonight.

The letter stated: "We're sorry but we do not accept poems generated by writer's submission services. We encourage you to purchase a copy of Journals Name to get a sense of the kind of work that interests us." The aforementioned statement was on the journal letterhead. I'm not sure if it was a standard form letter. At first, I wasn't sure what they were talking about. My thoughts were something like this: What the hell. What's a writer's submission service? Then it dawned on me that they were referring to those lame services that play on the hopes of aspiring writers by charging recurring fees to manage their submissions for them and I'm assuming the majority of said submissions are sent out blindly. Or at least this is my perception of writer's submission services as predatory organizations which may be wrong since I don't know much about them. I did a Google search using the key words Poetry Submission Service and there are quite a few services out there.

First of all, I have never used a submission service in my life. Secondly, I've read the journal in question and it has grown to be one of my favorite journals. It's newer, its run by a college with an MFA program which has multiple literary journals, the work is intelligent, edgy, fun, etc. I've read 4 of the 5 issues thus far and even re-read one of the issues. I've kept each issue I've purchased. This leads me to my third point, what was it about my submission that gave the editors the impression that I was using a submission service. I only have three thoughts:

  1. The poems sucked and/or they (i.e., the poems) didn't suit the tastes of the editors, and subsequently, they thought to themselves, and perhaps joked back and forth with their colleagues over PBR and pretzels, "this fucking jerk has never read Journal Name...if he had he wouldn't have sent such shit." You know, I realize not every editor's going to like my poetry and a few editors might even think my poetry sucks ass. I also realize this is how it works. And I'm okay with that. But why send me a letter accusing me of using a submission service. Why not just send me a generic rejection slip.
  2. Something in my cover letter gave the preliminary reader the impression that I didn't prepare the submission myself. Now, I have to admit that my cover letters can be a little bland: I work here, I'm married to so-and-so, I have three kids, I live in KC, my poetry has appeared in Names of 3-5 Journals, and recycle the damn poems if you think they suck. I don't always mention the stellar poems I read in the journals latest issue, and in this case, I didn't name the poems I appreciated but I had in fact read 4 of the 5 issues of the journal. But again, why send me a letter accusing me of using a submission service when you have absolutely no evidence to support such a claim. Just send me a generic rejection slip. I could use it as a book mark when I read your next issue.
  3. They made a mistake: they grabbed the "We don't read poems from writer's submission services" pile instead of the "your poems weren't right for us" pile. It's an easy mistake to make.
Now, perhaps there's something I'm missing but these three reasons seem like the most logical reasons.

So, now to a more important aspect of this wonderful event, which by the way has really got my panties in a bunch, the reality is that I prepare all of my submissions. I painstakingly fill envelope after envelope. I keep a database so that every submission is thoroughly tracked so that I make inquiries at the proper times, give journals plenty of response time given that it's a known fact that most journals (not all) are behind in their production schedule by at least 3-12 months, withdraw any poems that are accepted which I have submitted out simultaneously (to journals that accept simultaneous submissions), etc. I even have a huge database of journals with their guidelines, addresses, submission preferences (mail or electronic), sample copy costs, subscription costs, poetry editor names. I also update this database on a regular basis.

I want to be clear about this though; I am not upset about being rejected. Getting rejected is par for the course. I have submitted 836 groups out. I have had 80 journals publish 95 of my poems. That's an acceptance rate of 9.569377%. That means I get rejected 90.4% of the time. I guess you could say I'm better at loosing than winning; better at getting rejected than accepted...but who isn't...it's just part of the process.

What angers me the most is that a journal that I really respect would presume that I use a submission service...that is, if it wasn't a harmless mistake. Not only this but I'm familiar with and respect the work of 2 out of the 4 poetry editors: I've read their books and/or chapbooks. Anybody who knows me, knows that I read and write tirelessly and I work hard at researching and reading almost every journal I submit to (which I will add to in a few days when I provide a synopsis of my read journal to non read journal ratios).

I will perhaps, per Megan's suggestion, write a letter and/or e-mail to Name of Journal in an attempt to clear up things.

This is all I can say right now. And I'm trying to NOT mention the name of the journal.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Saturday Afternoon

I'm at my parents in Marshalltown, Iowa. Megan, I, and the family decided to visit my parents before school starts for the boys. One thing is for certain thus far: I've seen way too many John McCain ads. I haven't seen any in Kansas City thus far but I've seen three so far today on NBC's local affiliate.

Tonight, we're having Zeno's Pizza. Travis and Hannah will be coming over. Megan and I might even catch a movie...probably Step Brothers (Will Ferrell rules). It will be a good night.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Happy Hour

I read some more Weil today and this is what I have to share (it's from her section on evil in Gravity and Grace):

"A certain inferior kind of virtue is good's degraded image, of which we have to repent, and of which it is more difficult to repent than it is of evil--The Pharisee and the Publican."

I think she meant "The Pharisee and the RePublican" but I'm not sure since she wrote this in the early 1940's. But I like to think she meant "The Pharisee and the RePublican."

I'm going to Room 39 for a little happy hour tonight. Some of the regulars from the Main Street Rag reading series (a monthly reading series and open mic night at the Writer's Place), including the host Shawn Pavey hang out there on Late Nite happy hour nights.

Mary Biddinger has a great post on writing prompts. I like prompts especially when I'm in a slump and need to stretch a little bit.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Food Eater

I was pondering my "creative conundrum" and figured out the problem: my fascination with NASCAR, Texas Roadhouse, WWE, etc. has morphed me into a mere "food eater." The only things that satisfy me are fast cars, meat, violence, and of course beer. I work only to consume. The literary arts no longer matter to me. Perhaps I should accept the inevitable. Of course this "thought train" is fairly prejudicial and maybe a tad guilty of stereotyping.

I honestly think the longer that I have been writing the less satisfied I am with my poetry. I'm not sure if this is a common experience but I don't think I'm entirely comfortable with my declining satisfaction. And I don't mean comfortable in the sit back, prop my feet up, sip a little single malt, and watch some Battlestar Galactica sense (although that's not all that bad) but in the sense that I'm willing to reconcile the "normal" evolution in any poets (or aspiring poets) creative life: namely that over time they become less and less satisfied with their work and have to make adjustments to their mental paradigms, writing habits, aesthetics, poetics, etc. to compensate for the evolution. Perhaps this is too rigid a view? Perhaps there is no such thing as the "normal evolution of less satisfaction" or perhaps I'm taking myself too seriously.

On a less serious note. First, I went to my office to write this morning. Megan was watching Project Runway and drinking coffee at 7:00 AM. The coffee was normal but Project Runway at 7:00 AM. I didn't write.

Secondly, my mere "food eater" comment reminded me of a story about one of my colleagues at the bank I "food eat" at. A few months ago he and I went out for sushi on pay day Friday: we call it pay day sushi. He told me over sushi that he was using he and his wife's stimulus check to buy his wife new boobs. He was serious. He added that if they got a divorce she would get one and he'd get one because he paid for them. He also added that the fact that he was buying his wife a boob job with their stimulus check gave a new meaning to the phrase stimulus package. I'm serious. She got the boob job. How does one respond especially while eating sushi.

Third, I'm going to be a featured reader at the Main Street Rag reading series which is hosted at The Writer's Place in KC every third Sunday of the month. So, Brandon if your reading this mark August 17th on your calendar. Otherwise...actually Brandon, you might be the only one who reads this blog.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Creative Conundrum

I didn't write again today. To be honest, since May 2007 I've written 27 rough drafts. Of those 27 rough drafts, I only like 5, which were all written in 2007. This means I don't like anything I've written this year.

Now my rough drafts are not complete drafts. I usually take 2 days-2 months to finish a rough draft. I put the poem aside for a few weeks and then begin the long, arduous task of revising the poem which can mean 6-10 drafts or more. I feel it's complete when I feel like I can't go an further textually and when I read the poem aloud it reads smoothly. So, I have to feel comfortable with it textually and orally. Once I reach this comfortability I usually will start submitting the poem, along with others of course, to literary journals. Of course, I have often come back to poems years later to continue minor tweaking and sometimes major overhauls. I'm obsessive like that.

So, back to my original thought: writing has sucked for the past 14 months. I don't feel comfortable with what I'm writing. I feel like I'm writing less and less. And I'm not sure what to do about. Oddly, enough my creative conundrum started when Megan and I bought our new home which leads me to a question: how does 'writing space' or 'creative space' affect a poet's productivity as a writer or to put it less capitalistically: does the space in which a poet creates poetry affect the quality of their poetry??? Hmmm...inquiring minds want to know...as do I.


I ordered 8 more 1:64 scale NASCAR cars tonight. I like to believe they're for my son Brayden.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Tid Bits

I suck at Farkle. My sons, Gavin and Elijah, essentially kick my ass every night in Farkle. Yes, every night we play games before bed except for Friday nights which is WWE Friday Night SmackDown and Saturday nights which is Naruto night.

I read a little more of Ben Lerner’s The Lichtenberg Figures (for the third time) at lunch as well as Simone Weil’s Gravity and Grace.

Recent downloads: The Moldy Peaches and Kimya Dawson. Yes, I downloaded them because of Juno, which is definitely a 4 out of 5 stars based on the Netflix rating scale, which is to say, I really like it. Michael Cera was…well…Michael Cera and he was brilliant as usual. Ellen Page was outstanding. I loved Jason Bateman. Even Jennifer Garner was pretty good.

FYI...I don't know what the fuck this blog is for.

Send/Receive

I got up this morning and attempted to write. I desperately wanted to break out of a creative slump. But I was so exhausted all I could do was stare at the ceiling in my office. Typically when I get up early, take a shower, and get a cup of coffee in The Blue Moose mug I’m energized enough to sit down, listen to some music, and write. But this morning my mind was still hitting the snooze button. After a while I just sat there hitting the Send/Receive button in Outlook completely unaware of what I was doing. So, no go this morning. I feel like my “creative battery” is running low on juice and that I either need a jump start or a new battery and I’m not really sure what a new battery looks like. Regardless, I feel like I’ve been in a slump for 1 ½ years. I think its because of the damn dust mites. Megan thinks it’s because I’m lazy. The dust mites thinks it's because I don't read enough Jorie Graham.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Sunday Afternoon

I’m watching NASCAR at Pocono on ESPN. Yes, I’m kind of dorky. And if watching racing wasn’t enough to reveal my “country” side, we went to Texas Roadhouse yesterday. I love their country fried sirloin and my kids love throwing peanut shells on the ground.

But I didn’t realize that the waitresses (and only the waitresses) were required line danced. No, it wasn’t anybody's birthday. There was no “happy birthday” song, cakes, etc. The waitresses cranked up Rednex’s “Cotton Eye Joe” and line danced in a front of dozens of patrons. They were very robotic and unsynchronized at first but by the time the song was done they were still robotic but much more synchronized.

It was surreal though; the waitresses had this “I didn’t sign up for those” look on their face that yielded the following internal monologue: “This is the ‘business is slow because the economy sucks’ line dance. Just keep grabbing your hips and twirling around. Look happy and dance, look happy and dance even though my tips are lower, profits are down 28.74%, and it costs me 19.32% more to drive to work because gas is going through the fucking roof. Just look happy and dance, just look happy and dance.” Of course, this is a very pessimistic monologue but I don’t care.

And that’s me on a Sunday afternoon: watching NASCAR with Ben Lerner’s The Lichtenberg Figures (I’m reading it for the third time…and I’m not sure why…probably because I like it) on my lap thinking about Texas Roadhouse while drinking Mountain Dew Code Red and occasionally flipping to Fox to check out a little Angels-Yankee’s action. What does this reveal about Jon Barrett?

Later, homemade macaroni and cheese with Brandon, Debbie, Paul, and Camilla, and of course my lovely family.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Ryan Adams

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I listened to Ryan Adams' "The End" 37 times in the past 24 hours, of which 29 times were while I laid on my couch staring at the ceiling thinking NASCAR. I love the song: love it!!! The twangs, the slides. I also downloaded Heartbreaker. I really do immensely admire Ryan Adams' Jacksonville City Nights...most especially "The End." And I do have a sweet spot for NASCAR matchbox cars. I've bought 13 for my youngest son Brayden and I'll tell you which ones if you ask nicely.

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There's an open mic night this weekend at The Writer's Place celebrating the 40th anniversary of Jack Kerouac's On the Road. I'm not going...definitely not going. But I will be drinking whisky, triple Belgian ale, Russian lager, and watching Lost. All at the same time: I like whisky with a beer chaser. I also like fake centipedes but who's keeping track. 12 days since I last (blank)...I won't say 12 days since what...I'll leave that up to your imagination.

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Rejections to date: 740. Keep it up! Way to go! (whistles, hoots, hollers, more whistling, a couple winks...can't you tell I'm walking the red carpet in front of my adoring fans).

Monday, March 31, 2008

The Future

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Five ways to go:

  1. A caviling rant against "the scattered babblings" of drunken narcissists (a la Charles Bukowski wannabes: Yells, drunken slurred speech, Yells, Yells, drunken slurred speech, hush, hush, George Bush sucks, Yells, Yells, more drunken slurred speech...The End!)
  2. A play-by-play commentary on WWE Monday Night Raw which my kids are watching with my wife right now (I think Rick Flar just retired...wow he's flabby!)
  3. An essay on dismissiveness and the dangers of online dating services for dogs (MLA or APA???)
  4. Engrandizing self-promotion and the endless search for self-fulfillment via knitting clubs("I just donated a scarf to the homeless shelter...my good deed for 2008 is done...now I must put a picture of 'homeless Bob' on the refrigerator wearing the scarf I made...here, I'll use my poetry magnets...perfect!")
  5. Or none of the above.

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Rejections to date: 738. Today it was Southern California Review. I love rejections as much as I love Oreos and I just went through a package of Double Stuff Oreos with my wife in less than 48 hours: purchased at 7:16 pm on Saturday night.

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I finished Scientific American Reports' special edition on robots during lunch today. In the future I will control things with my mind via tiny microchips implanted in my brain. Seamlessly flip through channels on the television , control my robot vacuum cleaner, turn off the lights, turn on the microwave and warm up a bowl of Tomato soup, or perhaps even toast some Pop Tarts. Commanding robots by thought will be fun!

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Coming Attractions: thoughts on Pleiades, comments on Bredle's Standing In Line For the Beast, the side effects of Chantix, and what I keep in my top dresser drawer (which one: left, right, left, right). Fuck it, I'll stick to the first two.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Uneventful Weekend


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Very, very uneventful weekend:
watched Spongebob Square Pants with the kids, did laundry, played with cars and moon sand (I hate moon sand: it shows up everywhere), watched a little more Spongebob Square Pants, the boys played Lord of the Rings video game on Xbox, cleaned the kitchen and dog poop in the backyard, played baseball with the boys in the poop free yard (after buying whiffle balls, a new Easton Little League bat, and a glove for Gavin), beat my son twice in FIFA Soccer 2006 (I should have let him win...but I just couldn't), played UNO a lot, and much, much more. At night I drank Glenfiddich Single Malt Scotch (not the best whisky but it did the trick) and watched either Lost or Battlestar.

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I also finished Redivider (5.1). My favorites:

"Pathogenesis," Dan Pribble
"La Maison du Fada," Rebecca Hall
"Poor Yorick," Adrianna Ranta
both of Sue Standing's poems: "Deseret" and "Under the Sign Of"

I was also able to add one more book to my Book List. Sue Standing was published by Four Way Books back in 2003: False Horizon. Again, this is a little obsessive but I collect books based on publisher because I would rather have, for example, 10 Four Way Books books on my shelf so that I have a better feel for Four Way Books. Four Way Books happens to be on my "collect from this press list" and I have 12 titles in my office.

I don't like plithera of different individual titles from different presses spattered across my shelves. This is good because I believe I can gain a greater appreciation for individual presses but it can also be a bad thing because I procrastinate picking up individual titles with presses I'm not collecting currently. Which is why I break the rules from time to time or if I really want a specific book, like Michael Dumanis' My Soviet Union or James Allen Hall's Now You're Enemy I break down and buy 3-5 titles from U Mass Press or Univ of Arkansas Press. So, if anybody has any suggestions for poetry from U Mass Press or Univ of Arkansas Press I'm all ears. I have a small working list of authors but I'm not familiar with many of the poets published by both presses.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

3

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I accomplished my goal yesterday of submitting my poetry manuscript to 3 presses and/or contests in March. I have the same goal in April: it's time to develop thick skin with the manuscript. I've been rejected 737 times by journals so I've built up pretty thick with literary journals. But presses that publish chapbooks and book-length manuscripts is another beast. My manuscript took my 5 years to finish. I officially finished it in early March. I already hate it and loathe everything about it, which I hope is normal. But I now feel free to pursue new ideas, etc.

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I'm loving David Roderick's Blue Colonial: both wonderfully crafted and elegant.

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I hope to post "The Fat (Book Review #2 & 3)" in the next two weeks. The books: Jason Bredle's Standing In Line For The Beast and Kevin Prufer's National Anthem. It's not NewPages but I enjoy writing about other people's work.

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On deck tonight: New Belgium 1554 Brussels Style Black Ale and more Battlestar.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Lack

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My writing life over the past week can be described with one word: lack. I went from writing everyday this month to not writing for a full week: very disappointing.

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I just finished Standing In Line For The Beast and have moved onto:

Jon Anderson, Day Moon (Carnegie Mellon)
David Roderick, Blue Colonial (APR/Honickman First Book Prize 2006, Copper Canyon Press)

They're both from a few years back but I've been looking forward to reading them for some time and those of you who know me know that I collect books by press. I'll buy 7-10 books at a time from a specific press as opposed to buying randomly or by author or new release. I like to support presses and get a feel for the larger body of work they're producing as opposed to single poets/authors here and there. It's a little obsessive as well...or uptight...take your pick. Plus I like uniformity on my bookshelf...which is pathetic.

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Battlestar was awesome last night. As was Lost's "Confidence Man." On to disc 3 from season 1 of Lost.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Weakness

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I gave in to weakness today: I purchased Battlestar Galactic season 3. There was a delay with Netflix, Megan forgot to send back our movies 3 days in a row, and my brother-in-law and sister have disc 1. Obviously a recipe for jealousy and envy. I couldn't wait...I'm pathetic. And what's worse? I also bought Family Guy seasons 1 & 2 because they were on sale for $19.99. I thought it was a steal for 28 episodes. I was a sucker more like it; a perfect example of an impulse buyer. But you know what...I'm going to enjoy my weekend: Battlestar Galactica, Family Guy, Guinness, and a little Belgian ale to boot!!!

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I got a poem accepted by The MeadoW today: one of the most professional journals I've dealt with thus far...and I've dealt with a lot.

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Rejections to date: 737.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Lost

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I received contributors copies for both Out of Line and Buffalo Carp. Out of Line is a wonderful journal dedicated to social and political issues (i.e., social harmony and justice). Buffalo Carp is based out of the Quad Cities (i.e., Davenport and Bettendorf, IA, and Moline, Rock Island, and East Moline, IL). Dorothy Lasky appears in Buffalo Carp. I have Awe, her book from Wave Books, and am looking forward to reading it very soon. Both journals look great and I can't wait to dig in.

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I am officially hooked on Lost. I've put off watching Lost because I was a fan of Alias and J.J. Abrams' eventual proverbial "dropping of the ball" with that show made me hesitant about jumping into Lost. But all it took was the pilot episodes and I was hooked. So now Battlestar is competing with Lost in my Netflix que...oh the drama!

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Leprechauns

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Last night Megan and I turned all of the furniture upside down and hung backpacks and book bags from the ceiling and spattered green things all over the living room: drums, bean bag frogs, pencils and pens, Starburst, Skittles, papier-mache, etc. We posted signs on the walls with "The Leprechauns were here!!!" scrawled in green magic marker. Our dog, Hawkeye freaked out. Our youngest son Brayden stood and stared. It didn't phase Gavin. He asked if he gets presents for St. Patrick's Day. Elijah was annoyed that he had to help turn the furniture back over. This didn't go over so well.

The other day, after the kids were freaked out by my Coyote story, Megan sent the kids outside to play. They hesitantly acquiesced...now slightly frightened by the beast in the woods. Megan proceeded to howl out the open window from behind the curtains. Our boys didn't know it was her. They made a mad dash for the porch and never looked back. Megan insisted it was a coyote or a werewolf and even showed them a mark on her neck that she swore might be a werewolf bite, which was actually just a zit. They believed her until she told them she was just kidding. They laughed but haven't been back to the backyard for over a week.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

No Coffee #2

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Megan, Paul, and I watched three episodes from Battlestar Galactica 2.5 last night. I’m trying to refresh myself before jumping in to season three. We watched “Pegasus: Extended Version,” “Resurrection Ship (Part 1),” and “Resurrection Ship (Part 2).” It was awesome and also contributed to a late start this morning.

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We were out of coffee this morning which is bad news especially after drinking beer and single malt Scotch whisky last night. I am addicted to caffeine and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I got some coffee for Megan and me but it took a little longer than usual to feel normal this morning. Now I’m going to Target to do our monthly personal care/household shopping: toilet paper, tin foil, light bulbs, etc. Megan made the list and I’m doing the shopping. She’s doing the grocery shopping later this afternoon. We try to keep Sundays free of any running around, errands, work, etc.; as a result shopping, hair cuts, house work, chores, errands, etc. are done on Saturdays.


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All of a sudden this afternoon, I started feeling sick: upset stomach, etc. Maybe it was something I ate…Large Starbucks coffee, two Cadbury mini creme eggs, honey ham sandwich with mustard and mayonnaise, garden salsa Sun chips, Pepsi, Skittles, and three glasses of ice water…I don’t really see what the big deal is…there’s nothing wrong with the aforementioned food…


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What I’ve been reading and listening to on my day off:

1421, Gavin Menzies
American Spikenard, Sarah Vap
Cold War Kids’ phenomenal album Robbers & Cowards

Friday, March 14, 2008

Worms

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My youngest son, who's two, tried to eat a worm today. My oldest son, who's nine, found a grub. I told him it might be a screw worm and explained to him that screw worms get into animals via the nose, ear, or buttocks and eat them from the inside out until the animal dies. He dropped it and then looked at me with a grin and said, "No, it isn't!" and put it back in a Tupperware container full of mud, twigs, and leaves. I know...I'm an ass! My wife went to get a Culver's concrete Butterfingers mixer for herself and a Strawberry malt for me...she's very nice. After the malt comes single malt scotch whisky and a review of Battlestar Galactica Season 2.5.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

734

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Two weeks ago I sent out my poetry manuscript for the first time. A day later I already wanted to change the name and layout of the manuscript. Those who know me well are aware that I’ve obsessed over this manuscript for nearly five years. So my desire to change the title and layout will come as no surprise. I wish I could just let it go but I can’t: I'm constantly mulling over the poems, layout, order, quotes, epigraphs, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So, in the coming days I’m going to tinker with a handful of alternative titles. I already have the alternative layout ready (i.e., five sections instead of three—I like breathing room). I want to narrow down the possible titles so that I can submit the manuscript out to a few more contests and/or publishers. My goal is to send it out to three in March and three in April. I have sent it out to two contests thus far so I need one more submission to achieve my March objective. One thing I’ll say, on a side note and anybody who has sent out their manuscript can attest to this: it can get expensive quick.


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Things continue to get worse for Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and thus the mortgage industry. According to Tami Luhby, a CNNMoney staff writer, “Investors are now shunning mortgage-backed securities issued by government sponsored enterprises Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, which have been critical in keeping the real estate market from completely falling apart.” This is another reason why FHA may be the only viable option for some prospective and existing homeowners.


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Rejections to date: 734 (I miscalculated the other day)

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Very Delicious

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I work in banking and it looks like banks are headed towards 60’s and 70’s style lending, which is to say, if you don’t have a 720 credit score or greater than you either need 20% down, or your going to pay a lot in up front fees for the rate you get, or you need to go FHA. The banks are having difficulties securing funds by using mortgage backed securities as collateral and their losing a lot of money from bad subprime loans and ALT loans that were originated during the hay day and weren’t backed by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac so if you don’t have stellar credit than FHA is the only safe bet for the time being. Fun times ahead. Fun times ahead. Needless to say, business is slow and frustrating.


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I went to Barnes & Nobles for lunch and had some Chicken and Wild Rice soup: very delicious. And when I finished read about half of Jason Bredle’s Standing In Line For The Beast: also very delicious.

No Coffee

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Our coffee maker didn't work this morning, which means my whole writing routine was thrown off and also means I impulsively went to Starbucks to get Megan and I some coffee. Normally if we get coffee, we get it from either Broadway Coffee or The Roasterie, which are two locally owned and operated coffee shops. But drastic times call for drastic measures. And when I say coffee, I mean coffee not a double caramel cappuccino with skim milk and whip cream on top...but a real house coffee. I'm not sure why people say, "I'm going to get a coffee" and return with a foo-foo drink...not that I'm a coffee snob...but I'm just saying...it's time for work.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Carnivore in the Woods

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What I’ve been listening to recently while I write in the mornings: Beirut’s The Flying Club Cup. Beirut is great music to wake up to while sipping a cup of crappy coffee.


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I need to check out Get Him Eat Him.


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I think we have a coyote or another carnivore in the woods behind our house. We live in what would be classified as an urban part of Kansas City but there’s a small wooded area behind our house. Last night, per my evening routine, I let the dog out and sat on porch with a glass of Aberlour single malt Scotch whisky.

Our Boston terrier, Hawkeye (named in honor of the Iowa Hawkeye’s and our beloved Hawkeye state), flipped out: he ran to the back fence and an animal ran back and forth on the other side of the fence. So, of course he chased it but it was about 2 times the size of Hawkeye. I got him inside as quickly as possible because he’s mentally challenged and wouldn’t stand a chance against a larger animal.

Once he was inside I heard an eruption of cat-like screeches, hisses, grunting, clawing, and crying emanating from the woods. It sounded like an “all-out-alley-cat-war” but far more brutal. It went on for approximately a minute or so before the crying sound got louder and louder. It sounded like a wounded animal. Then there was another round of screeches, hisses, grunting, and crying followed by silence. Two or three minutes passed before the silence was broken by the sound of an animal chewing, chomping, biting, etc. It sounded like it was gnawing on bone and tearing flesh. It was like Animal Planet in my backyard. Megan said I should go check it out. I didn’t because I’m a coward. She said she’s adventurous and brave, and I’m a wimp. I drank more whisky.


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I work in a bank building next door to a Planned Parenthood: the same Planned Parenthood that has monthly visits from the local media because of Johnson County District Attorney (a rabid-right-to-lifer) Phill Kline’s attempt to bring charges of illegal late term abortions, among other charges, against the Overland Park Planned Parenthood. The sidewalks in front of the Planned Parenthood are frequently filled by local church groups, Christians, etc. They pray…mostly. And a few wear red tap Xed across their mouth as a symbol of protest. I can only imagine it represents to voiceless aborted and perhaps the red stands for innocent blood…I’m really not sure.


I consider myself a Christian. I attend church almost every Sunday. I was raised in an Evangelical Charismatic church. I even worked full time as a youth pastor for 5 years from age 21-26. So, I understand “why” they are praying and protesting. What I don’t understand is how they can reconcile their actions with Jesus’ instructions on how Christians ought to pray in Matthew 6:5-8, which states: "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him."

I realize there’s context involved in any exegesis of a biblical text. But there are biblical principles that can be ascertained as an explanation for how Christians or follower’s of Jesus should behave morally, ethically, religiously, etc.

I don’t mean to imply that they don’t have the right to stand against abortion because it is their right to speak freely. But when one reflects on Matthew 6:5-8 and then watches their very public prayer that quite literally takes place on a street corner I can’t help but wonder how they can their public prayer with Jesus’ admonishment to prayer in secret to avoid showy expressions of “charity” and “prayer.”


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William D. Waltz’s Zoo Music from Slope Editions came in the mail today. I’m going to read it as soon as I’m finished with Jason Bredle’s Standing In Line For the Beast and Sarah Vap’s American Spikenard.


Monday, March 10, 2008

Downloads, Season 3

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Downloads from the weekend:

The National, Boxer
Sufjan Stevens, Greetings from Michigan: The Great Lake State
Neutral Milk Hotel, The Aeroplane, Over the Sea
Neutral Milk Hotel, On Avery Island

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Eight days until Battlestar Galactica Season 3 is released on DVD. I moved Season 2.5 to the top of my Netflix que so that I can get refreshed before watching Season 3. It has been over a 9 months since I finished Season 2.5, and unfortunately, I didn’t have cable when Season 3 aired. But the wait is almost over and I can’t wait.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Bourbon Stout

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Megan and I went to the 75th Street Brewery last night. I had country fried steak with garlic mashed potatoes and garlic green beans: it was superb; although the country fried steak was more “fried” than “steak.” Megan had fish and chips, which she also said was wonderful. I had two pints of American ale and a small glass of imperial bourbon stout which was one of the best, if not the best, stout I’ve ever had. It was smooth with a little hint of bourbon. I drank it a little fast though which contributed to an upset stomach later.

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I am currently reading or have just finished the following books and journals:

American Spikenard, Sarah Vap
The Green Girls, John Blair
Becoming the Villainess, Jeanine Hall Gailey
Fa(r)ther Down: Songs from the Allergy Trials, Arielle Greenberg
Practice: New Writing + Art
Greatcoat

I highly recommend Practice and Greatcoat. Check them out: they're both new(er).

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I also had the pleasure of hearing Natasha Tretheway read for the Midwest Poets Series at Rockhurst University this past Thursday. She was very, very friendly after the reading. I very rarely purchase books at readings and even more rarely get them signed. But I picked up Native Guard (paper back of course) and had her sign it. Great reading with a pretty hefty turnout. The only sour note(s): with the flu going around KC there was a constant cacophony of coughs, and of course, a woman sitting behind me forgot to turn her cell phone off so it chirped a few times during the reading.

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Rejections to date: 721. Is that a lot? I think it's hot!